Underpass Overkill

Salford has a lot of underpasses. I have to walk through at least one of them almost every day to get where I’m going, and every time I do, I am greeted by some bizarre music of an un-diagnosed genre and even on some occasions some fluorescent blue mood lighting.

The work of chavs, you say? Wrong. These are, in fact, permanent features installed into underpasses in an idea dreamt up by some demented individual in an attempt to make them a more pleasant place for the general public to drag their screaming children and shopping through.

The fact that I have never heard any of this music before in my life leads me to believe that they are songs performed by terrible underground artists (literally… guffaw!), or the kind of artists whose CDs you find in the bargain bins at your local branch of Pound Stretcher.

Something else that makes me laugh when I wander through the underpasses are the fish-eye mirrors just before you turn the corner which give you a view of what’s coming from either direction – you know, the kind they have in Makro. How rough does a place need to be before you require mirrors to warn you of any sinister characters lurking ahead of you?!

I am aware that the real reason for these mirrors  is probably to prevent collision with bikes etc… but I presume the prevention of getting raped, robbed or murdered by tunnel-dwelling scum is their second priority.

We know Salford has a ‘slightly’ negative reputation for this sort of thing, but I come from Hull and if they don’t have them there then there must be a problem. I took the liberty of photographing my own reflection in two of the mirrors that I came across today on my way to Salford Shopping City to illustrate these marvelous and practical installments.


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