This is England 2.0

On Saturday I went to Blackpool for the first time in about 14 years. My memory of it being a tacky, trashy sea side resort certainly served me correctly… But that’s not to say I didn’t have fun. I started the day with a nice long walk along the sea front, which seemed to go on for about 500 miles. Skipping the pleasure beach, me and my companion opted for a drink in Yates’ – home to pond life and hen parties no matter which city you’re in.

A couple of cheap drinks and a BBQ combo later and we were tipsily wandering around outside Blackpool Tower wondering when it got so run-down and expensive. And on our search for an off-licence to buy some Marlboro Lights we witnessed an altercation between a scally and her abusive boyfriend. Ah, England.

Lucky for me, there happened to be a punk music festival on somewhere in town, so the sheer amount of absolute cringe was counteracted by some cool-looking skinheads in tartan every now and then. There’s nothing I like more than a fit fella with a massive mohawk.

The second best thing about my day was the sheer amount of tasteless crap we came across in the local shops. You know you’re in a classy place when they’re selling feather-lite condoms next to souvenir ashtrays and BB guns. I almost purchased a questionable 18-certificate movie which was hidden behind a mother and baby interactive CD-rom. But in the end, I simply settled for the memories.

Fast forward a little and we decided to spend some money in the arcade, only to find that the 2p machines have gone seriously downhill since the days of finger skateboards. So, feeling knackered and a little bit unnerved by the amount of ponies being forced to pull Cinderella carriages along the promenade, we made our way back to the car.

It took us an hour to find the car park because we got completely lost, and my feet were killing me. But overall, I had a pretty cool time. And no, I’m not joking – I bloody love the English seaside. It’s the perfect example of British life whether you like it or not. So here’s some pictures. Not the usual tourist snaps I think you’ll find.


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